Presenting The first ever ‘tit Rex Fundraiser!
a ‘tit Rex original.
Ah, Field Day. No Matter where you grew up (in America), the name brings up either triumph or shame. And if you didn’t grow up in America, we’re sure some other similar event did the same for you.
An afternoon of fun, subversive achievements, music, food, drink, awards ceremonies on a mini olympic-style podium, feted by “Big Chief” on the trombone. what?
‘ tit Rex holds all the answers to the eternal questions
1.) what should i do on a sunday afternoon?
2.) how do i improve my seemingly unimprovable self-esteem?
3.) how can i dress like Gabe Kaplan and/or Linda Carter and/or Telly Savalis while they were still young and willing?
4.) who will be the Howard Cosell of the 21st century?
5.) how do i give money to a worthy cause (LASPCA) and have a kick-ass time while doing it?
The Time: Sunday, May 16th, 12-5pm.
The Place: Royal and Jourdan in the 9th ward, baby!
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the Cost:
No cost to attend.
Pay-to-play per event: $3/event, 2 for $5
Delicious food! The best sack lunch to ever pass between your lips! (mini-muffalettas, gourmet slaw and potato salad) and drinks available.
Pay-one-price (includes one sack lunch and entry to all events): $20
The Events
Eight Spectacular Events in all! Each complete with an awards ceremony on an Olympic-style podium, at which I personally will play “Big Chief” on the trombone, because A.) “Big Chief” is a bad-ass song, and B.) i don’t know any national anthems on trombone.
- .2K Race
- Doubloon Discus
- 4-legged Race
- Mini-Pie Eating Contest
- Mardi Gras Bead Carry
- Sad Sack Race
- Quail Egg Toss
- Grand Finale ‘tit Rex Obstacle Course
I will go into detail in the next post about the Obstacle course, the likes of which you have never seen before.
Most of these events are kid-friendly, as is the overall event itself – so bring out the young ones! There will be a painting corner with non-toxic paints for the non-athletic progeny, as well as a shady area for wee ones.
At intermission, we will be blessed by the melodious musings of The New Dopey Singers!
After all, what is a non-music event without a musical interlude?
This may be a once in a lifetime event, so don’t miss it!
It’s a beautiful location on the Mississippi levee, it will be a beautiful day.
Best of all, this event has a tiny carbon footprint, and unlike the “junk shot,” the chances of something catastrophic happening are Truly “really, really remote.”
So, get your sansabelt and terry cloth shorts on, bust out the headbands, and join us on Sunday!